Each of us has a certain degree of self-centeredness and, at times, even a touch of self-love—there’s nothing inherently wrong with that. It only becomes a problem when this behavior harms others, leads to constant conflicts, and strains relationships. Often, everything starts revolving around just one person, while the needs of the other partner fade further and further into the background.
But what does narcissism actually look like?
- Lack of empathy:
It is difficult to empathize with the feelings and needs of the partner. - Excessive need for validation:
The person constantly seeks admiration and validation from others and defines themselves through it. - Manipulation:
Gaslighting, blame-shifting, and emotional manipulation are often part of their behavior.. - Superiority and Criticism:
The person often sees themselves as superior and tends to belittle their partner in order to feel better about themselves. - Fear of criticism:
Any criticism is perceived as a personal attack and met with defensiveness or anger.
These patterns can lead to significant stress, insecurity, and a sense of dependency in relationships, with potentially devastating consequences.
What strategies can be used to deal with a narcissistic partner? How can one maintain their mental health in a relationship?
- Set boundaries:
Clear and consistent boundaries help protect against manipulative or disrespectful behaviors. - Having realistic expectations:
Don't hope for sudden insight. A narcissist can change their behaviour, but they must want to do so of their own accord. - Maintain emotional distance:
Don't let every mood or criticism affect you – this can help protect your self-esteem. - Seek support:
Conversations with friends, family, or a therapist can help view the situation objectively and gain a better understanding of both yourself and your partner. - Practice self-care:
Exercise, hobbies, meeting friends, and mindfulness training can help gain emotional distance. - Consider separating:
In extreme cases, when your well-being is consistently suffering, it may be healthier to separate.
Willingness to change?
For change to occur, there typically needs to be an awareness that one's behavior is perceived as obstructive or disturbing. And as mentioned, we're not talking about unpleasant habits or quirks, but rather about manipulative and demeaning behaviors. Only when a certain level of distress is present is there a real reason to make a change - as is often the case in life. However, if over time no changes take place within the relationship, it is important to reflect on how to gain distance or, if necessary, how to exit the relationship.
CONCLUSION
Living with a narcissistic partner can be emotionally challenging. It is important to become aware of your own boundaries, have realistic expectations, and seek professional support if necessary.
HOW CAN OUR EAP HELP?
It can be a good option to use the EAP for questions about relationships. Whether it's to become aware of your own perspective, question habits, work on communication, or reflect on relationship patterns. The more clarity you gain, the more effectively you can handle challenging situations.
